Dating a guy just separated
People often wonder about dating someone who is separated—not officially divorced. I have been separated for over a year, with young kids I have half the time. Read this email I received from a reader who is having problems in online dating because he is separated–not officially divorced.He also couldn’t sign up for marriage so soon after his wife had betrayed him and he spent years in litigation. When one had a happy marriage, they tend to want to be married again.To this day, he thanks me for helping him start his life over. It isn’t about replacing someone, but adding someone into your life to create a new chapter with. P., try not to compare the new person in your life to the old one.As expected, women initiating divorce ultimately identify their spouse as the “true” initiator.The irony is that men, despite their own dissatisfaction are more likely to resist divorce.Divorces, like men, come in all shapes, sizes, and situations.Sometimes there are amicable divorces; sometimes there are epic divorces that last years and years with lots of “collateral damage.” But if you’re dating recreationally and not considering him as a long-term partner, then these questions might not matter as much, since you’re not concerned with long-term compatibility.
The guy who broke my heart couldn’t imagine life without me. I know of many happily married couples that met shortly after one’s spouse had passed away.
But much of this too is to avoid the complex array of losses and challenges divorce presents a man.
Many of these losses though, are a result men’s typical, if not default, role within marriage of being the financial provider.
My divorce is amicable and I maintain a good relationship with my ex.
There’s no love there though, we’ve clearly moved on. I have my stuff together…own my own place, pursuing an MBA, good job, do the best for my kids, and I’m in a good place right now.